Shards of me, too sharp to put back together too small to matter
by itaintpretty
Summary: It's been too long since they've been close like this. *Spoilers for VLR and 999; to understand you should probably have played 999 or have some comprehension of the major characters and plot. Kurashikicest, set in a timeline somewhere around ZE3? Nothing explicit in my opinion, but if incest really bothers you just don't risk it. Akane/Aoi, hints at Akane/Junpei and Aoi/Light.


**Okay so background: basically this is my version of Aoi's reaction to finding out what his sister's been up to all those years. Like I said in the summary, it's sibcest so if that makes you uncomfortable or you just don't approve, feel free to move on. Spoilers for both games naturally so read at your own risk.**

**This is unbetaed so I apologize for any mistakes, and it's not as in-character as I had hoped, but hey it's a fic which is something too-rare around here imo, so...**

**Please review and let me know what you think:)**

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Sleeping in her brother's bed was nothing foreign to her-as a child, after their parents' deaths, crawling into Aoi's bed at all hours of the night for comfort was somewhat of a routine. Aoi was older, Aoi was stronger, Aoi never cried in his sleep. Instead, he would wrap his arms around her, and that would be enough to remind her innocent little mind that she was not alone in this strange world; that she still had someone who loved her.

After they were kidnapped and...everything that came with that horrible day, the monsters that plagued her dreams kept her up so many nights that tucked up warm under her brother's quilt had been the closest to safety she'd felt in a long time. Aoi would always wake up with her, and he'd stay awake as they lay curled together in silence, until her weary eyelids drifted shut and her breathing steadied and her tears were dry.

There were times, in the years that followed, when nightmares or plans for survival or the soul-absorbing guilt a teenage girl should never have to feel prevented her from sleeping, and on those lonely nights it would be Aoi's bed she would carefully and quietly slide into. Sometimes watching him sleep would lull her into a false security for long enough to allow her brain to shut off and give in to her exhaustion; sometimes the simple reminder of why it was she was even doing any of this relit the fire inside her, the determination for a life she didn't deserve to loose.

But now, after 45 years and infinite timelines apart, Akane had different reasoning for tip-toing into her brother's bedroom at 2:36am.

"Aoi?" she whispered, standing in the doorway in her purple cotton nightgown. "Are you awake?" She heard him shift in the bed, already knowing the answer. Still, they both knew what she was _really _asking.

The moonlight that shone through the window allowed her to see his eyes staring at her. He didn't speak. She held her breath.

It was possible he might refuse. It would be a first, yes, but after everything she'd told him today...after the way he'd looked at her afterward...well, would it really be that much of a surprise?

She hadn't planned what she would say to him. She hadn't realized Aoi would take one look at her and demand to know what was the matter. She had forgotten how well her brother knew her.

Akane could keep a secret; she could tell a lie; she could alter the truth and steamroll over the past and spin an event to work in her favor. She knew the rulebook of manipulation like the back of her hand; hiding answers was among her greatest skills.

Yet when Aoi asked her, with eyes that stared at her like she hung the moon and the stars, Akane's face flushed and her cheeks became damp with tears and everything she'd learnt, all the rules she put in place for herself dissolved in Aoi's reassuring arms.

Within moments, everything she'd held back came flooding out. She told him about Free the Soul; about Radical-6; about the third nonary game. About Rhizome-9 and all the death and destruction. She even told him about his own ending-a pool of cruel crimson and a shining scalpel and a final whisper of her name.

Akane found it eye-opening that Aoi did not even question her. He simply took a step back, stared at her like she was someone he did not recognize, and then he walked out of the room. Her throat was too dry from the crying and talking to even call him back, but she feared that even if she did, he would just keep walking.

The fact he'd stayed at headquarters at all surprised her, but he had nowhere else to go, she supposed. This was all he had, after giving everything to her plans.

He'd sacrificed so much for her, and she would never be able to repay him-wasn't that just the sick pattern of her life?

The sound of a quilt being thrown back startled her from her self-pitying thoughts. Aoi didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. The empty space beside him was invitation enough.

Lying beside her brother felt strange but familiar to her all at once. It had been so long since they'd been this close, but yet she felt like she was home.

The pillow was cool against her cheek as she turned to face Aoi, who lay staring at the dark celling.

"Please don't be mad at me," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

If Aoi heard her, he pretended he didn't. She shifted closer and was met with the smell of his favorite cologne, the one she'd bought for him every birthday since she was fourteen. She had to clutch her fists tightly to keep from reaching out to touch.

His eyelashes were as long as the nail of her thumb; the moonlight made his skin sparkle; his hair was a tangled mess-it had been too long since he'd had a haircut.

He usually insisted she cut it for him. He didn't trust a barber, he told her. She guessed it was because he didn't trust anyone.

Tears pricked in her eyes again. When was the last time she had gotten this emotional?

"Aoi," she choked out, around the lump in her throat. "Are you going to leave?"

Aoi turned his head so fast she almost jumped. "_What_?"

She bit her lip. She. _would. not_. cry.

"Are you going to leave? I-I would understand if you did. I wouldn't-I wouldn't _blame _you."

How could she? When Junpei had realized what she'd become, he'd ran a mile, as any _normal _person would. Sometimes Akane thought that if there was a way she could leave herself, be someone else, she'd take it.

Aoi's hand cupping her face sent a shiver down her spine. "Akane," he said, his voice low and filled with determination. "Listen to me, okay? I love you. I fucking _love _you. No matter what you do, no matter whose life you screw about with, no matter what bat-shit crazy scheme it is you're chasing..._nothing _will _ever _change that. Got it?"

His words should have filled her with relief, but they didn't. Because you could love someone and still hate the things they'd done. Because you could love someone and leave them, something she had a history with. Because to her, this seemed like the worst kind of goodbye.

"You feel obliged to say that," she said, unable to disguise the bitterness in her tone. "Because you're my brother."

Aoi pulled his hand back and bit his lip. He looked away, staring intently at the closed door.

"Akane," he said, still not looking at her. "I am not just saying this because I am your brother."

"Of course you are!" She sat up in the bed, crossing her arms. Her disappointment surprised her-shouldn't she just be thankful Aoi hadn't taken off? "You feel obliged to take care of me, to pick up the pieces. The only reason you're even still here is because you couldn't live with yourself if I did something awful in your absence." Aoi still hadn't looked at her, and she felt anger bubble inside her. "If you want to leave, if you want to get away from me then by all means. Go find Light, I know that's what you _really _want. You've done more than enough for me, Aoi. You owe me nothing. I'm not a little girl anymore."

She wondered why her mouth was saying such stupid, childish things while what was left of her heart screamed in protest. She didn't _want _to lose Aoi. But if she was going to-which she was sure she was-then she would not stand meekly, holding back tears as he walked away.

She softened her tone when Aoi finally looked at her. "I mean it. I want you to be happy. I want you to have a good life. So _go_."

Before Akane had time to catalogue what was happening, Aoi's lips were on hers. She felt one of his hands in her hair and another on her cheek. Her arms unfolded as they moved of their own accord, coming together again around Aoi's neck.

He kissed her, again and again, stealing her breath and swelling her lips. She felt her hands get lost in his hair as she pulled him closer. When he broke away for air, her body flamed with embarrassment as his blue eyes met hers.

"Aoi," she managed to say, although she could hardly hear it above the sound of her excitable heartbeat. "I-I didn't m-mean..."

His cold hand on her thigh made her train of thought evaporate instantly. "Akane," he murmured roughly. "I did not say I loved you because I am your brother."

Akane swallowed hard and brought her mouth to his, wondering why they had stopped kissing. Breathing was the _last _thing she wanted to do.

Aoi's hand continued to snake up her body, tugging her underwear, while his mouth moved elsewhere. He was kissing her forehead, her eyelids, her neck. She giggled and threw her head back as her own hands ran their way down perfect skin, stroking soft chest hair.

It felt like hours passed between the first taste of Aoi and their rushed stripping of each other. His pajama pants were easily whipped off and tossed in a corner; she momentarily thanked God she had decided not to wear a bra under her nightgown. When they were both down to their underwear, it was Aoi who drew back from the heated kissing.

"Akane," he whispered, lips red from kissing her and eyes dark with desire. "Do you want to do this?"

It wasn't even a question to her. She pulled him back down for another capturing kiss, and she let the lacing of their fingers together be his answer.


End file.
